Hey, I'm Daniela.
(pronouns: she/they)

I’m a sex and intimacy coach.

For over twenty years, I’ve worked with thousands of people coaching one-on-one, teaching in college classrooms, and guiding them in yoga studios.

I am also a queer cis woman raced as white born on Muwekma Ohlone land as a Bay Area Californian as well as a biological and transnational adoptive mom of three.

Supporting committed couples and individuals like you to experience deep sexual connection and intimacy with yourself and your partner is my work in the world.

I’m here to guide you to co-create the sex you want and the intimacy you desire.

Over the last eight years, I’ve worked with hundreds of couples and individuals like you around sex and intimacy.

I offer this work because of my own decades-long journey toward sexual connection with myself and with my partners.

Back then, I’d never experienced an orgasm.

Not by myself, not with a vibrator, not with people who identified as men, not with people who identified as women, not with non-binary, straight, queer people.

I felt broken and like I was less than human.

My frustration, confusion, and deep grief around having never experienced an orgasm affected my sense of worth.

Then it began to seep into my sexual connections as my partners and our relationships took on the weight of it.

I searched tirelessly for information for decades, coming up disappointed each time and blaming myself and my body.

Only my body wasn't the problem.

My ability to follow and willingness to try a list of "tips and tricks" wasn't the problem.

The problem was that I was disconnected from my ability to allow pleasure and to feel worthy of pleasure.

The word didn’t make sense to me.

My social conditioning, the roles and rigidity of heteronormativity (thanks fairytale narratives), my unrealistic expectations of what sex is and should be (thanks sex scenes, advertisements, porn, and other tools of capitalism), my shame, my fear, my self-judgment...

they were all holding me back, and all the while I believed the problem had to be me

...and my partners began to believe it had to be them.

Eventually I learned I had to dig deeper than skimming magazine articles, watching sex scenes in movies, reading books about sexuality, and talking to sex therapists to experience what I needed.

I had to connect with my sexuality.

I had to explore and befriend my body.

I had to become embodied.

Be myself in my body.

It was on this journey that I also was able to become the person I needed back then.

I started meeting people who were experiencing the struggles I once knew.

I discovered that my desire to find answers had led me to my life's work.

I became a sex and intimacy coach so I can support and guide others to make their own journey.

I’ve gone deep so I can guide you deep.

It is my life’s work and an honor to support you on this journey.

How I Invite You To Feel When We Work Together:

Present and connected—to yourself, to your partner, and to your life.

This is the general intention we set each time we meet to work together—to be present and connected.

We practice together at the beginning of sessions, step-by-step, so you feel guided and supported as you learn and rewire the capacity to set down the past and set aside the future to be right here, right now.

With compassion and love, we acknowledge parts and pieces of ourselves that are alive and active while setting gentle and firm boundaries around what supports us to be present and connected to the moment.

Going inward, we settle, ground, and center our bodyminds to connect with ourselves.

We invite an intention to explore, to be brave, to be curious, and open.

Always honoring your own body and your own process.

Giving yourself permission to speak and communicate where you are at.

Deeply knowing there are no right answers or wrong answers as we explore.

Allowing our time together to be powerfully deep, yet supportive and gentle at a rate that’s right for you.

I invite you to celebrate and express gratitude so the sensations in your body are given space and permission to take up space to build momentum and confidence.

Exploring what you desire to feel and experience around your sex, love, and relationships, we establish a foundation upon which to build this work that we do together.

Together we’ll step back and see the societal narratives, systems, and structures that affect all of us and that specifically affect people with multiple layers of marginalization.

We’ll co-create your path forward to experience deep sexual connection and intimacy with yourself and your partner with support and guidance every step of the way.

You deserve to feel seen, heard, held, supported, reflected, and celebrated.

Methodologies I Use:

When we work together, I support you with the most effective teachings steeped in neuroscience, holistic healing, trauma resolution, and modern coaching blended with ancient tantric and taoist wisdom.

We use embodied exercises, practices, and toy/tools as I guide you to uncover blocks, fears, and resistance and how to hold, heal, and integrate them to reveal the wholeness and health that is within you.

The VITA™ (Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach) Method is often where we’ll start.

Foundational beliefs of this method are:

• Sexuality is sacred, beautiful, powerful, and natural

• Pure love is the primary force that sustains us

• Meaningful relationships are necessary for a joyful life

This methodology recognizes and supports that human beings thrive by regularly experiencing states of ecstasy, bliss, surrender, divine connection, and wild freedom.

Holistic tools working with the felt sense around awareness, mindfulness, guided meditation, breathwork, pleasure practices, trauma resolution, energy work, sounding, and movement support us to resolve even the deepest challenges.

As a trauma-informed practitioner, I’ll offer and incorporate trauma resolution principles that gently support you in a slow, attentive, and loving way to bring overwhelmed, anxious, or panicked pieces into a space where they can be loved, held, and experienced from a safe enough space.

Working with me, you will develop the following skills in a deep transformational process through The Relationship Journey, relationship coaching, or individual coaching:

I destigmatize and demystify love, sexuality, sex, relationships, the bodymind, energy, and more.

I show you the path. I light up the way. I walk it with you.

I help you to dismantle spoken and unspoken expectations created and reinforced by oppressive systems.

I say the things even so-called experts or professionals either don’t know or don’t share because it doesn’t support capitalism.

It guide you toward what is authentic for you regardless of what our culture and society say we must be like.

Our Full Process:

• DISCOVER: Answer questions before we do a consultation to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
  

• INTAKE: Answer personal questions to share a picture with me of where you’re at and where you want to go.
  

• AGREEMENTS: Read and review trust agreement and a service agreement so the expectations you can have of me and the expectations I can have of you are clear between us.
  

• SESSIONS: Create a curated, desire-based journey based on your needs instead of a one-size-fits-all methodology.
  

• HOME PLAY: Engage embodied exercises and practices as well as resources to strengthen your connection to yourself and your partner.
  

• ACCOUNTABILITY: Receive emails from me in between sessions to guide you to focus and apply what you’re exploring with reminders that you have support.
  

• ASSESS: After an initial three-or-six-month period, assess whether continued weekly sessions, every other week, every three weeks, once a month, or on an as-needed basis supports your integration and continued thriving.

My Education, Trainings, & People I Sit With

• Certified with The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality as an Integrated Sex, Love, and Relationship Coach in their year long VITA™ Coaching Certification

• Specializations completed with The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality as a certified Relationship Coach; certified Jade Egg Coach; certified Tantric Sex Coach; and certified Men’s Sexuality Coach

• Master of Arts Degree in Communication Studies from San Jose State University with emphasis in critical pedagogy, women's studies, and feminist theories

• College instructor at four-year, two-year, and online colleges in areas such as public speaking, writing, interpersonal communication, small group communication, critical thinking, and argumentation

• Somatic Attachment Therapy certificate with Dr. Peter Levine, Kai Cheng Thom, Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, Dr. Ann Weiser Cornell, Dr. Albert Wong, Dr. Fanny Brewster, Jessica Montgomery, Dr. Ruella Frank, Dr. Scott Lyons, Nkem Ndefo, Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona, Manuela Mischke-Reeds, Kekuni Minton, Jessica Fern, Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen, and Karine Bell from The Embody Lab

• Embodied Conflict Resolution certificate with Kai Cheng Thom from The Embody Lab

• Trauma-informed trainings, including Creating Safer Spaces course with Shelby Leigh

• Founder and creator of Siren’s Calling

• Certified Yoga Teacher RYT 200 through Yoga Source in Los Gatos, California with specialties in gentle, restorative, and yin yoga

• Foundations of Somatic Abolitionism with Resmaa Menakem and Carlin Quinn

• Creating Post-Capitalist Futures: Living & Dying in Times of Crisis with Alnoor Ladha and Carlin Quinn

• Love & Rage course with Lama Rod Owens

• Weapons of Whiteness®: White Codes with Catrice M. Jackson

• inPleasure course with Che Che Luna

• We Are Culture Makers and Feminist Marketing courses with Kelly Diels

• Spiritual Activism 101 for White/White Passing Folks course with Rachel Ricketts

• Becoming The One and Healing From Heartbreak courses with Sheleana Aiyana and Rising Woman

• Rekindling Desire with Esther Perel

• Intro to Tantra workshop with Venerable Sangye Khadro

• Psycho-Social-Emotional Literacy for Yogis coursework with Livia Shapiro

• Former member of ASSECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)

• Former member of the World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC)

• Former member of Sessions with Esther Perel

• Former member of The Rooted Global Village

• Former member of the former Energetic Justice

• You are smart, informed, well-resourced, and loving.

• You’ve sought out support and advice in this area and are coming up short.

• You have been circling around the most vulnerable thing without the support to look at it directly.

• You’ve gotten information that either doesn’t make sense, is incomplete, or lacks action steps to apply to your real life.

• You feel alone or lost and need to feel like someone has your back and is with you in the process of growing into the person you want to be.

• You might be close to a point of giving up on connecting to your sexuality.