Blog
You Can Only Offer -Yourself- Unconditional Love, NOT Anyone Else
Not long ago I was talking about unconditional love with someone.
They were asking around offering their partner unconditional love.
I had to stop them for a moment.
"Offering unconditional love from one human being to another human being isn't possible," I said.
At War With Yourself?
The Story I'm Telling Myself....
Yesterday while on a particularly long stretch of highway, Shaun and I were talking about each of our experiences on the first leg of our road trip home.
( Our three kids were also along for the ride. )
The Tasmanian Devil that Lives Within Me
Do you experience this?
When life is accelerated and time bends and twists as if from some other dimension,
I find my body whirls.
I get this dull tension in my solar plexus, near where my gallbladder used to be, and it feels like the Tasmanian Devil has taken up residence.
What Do You Have Around Your Relationship?
What do you have around your relationship?
What do you have around your sex life?
What do you have around exploring your sexuality?
Gwen Stefani sings, What You Waiting For?
I've been waiting.
I've been holding back.
I've been keeping things to myself.
I've been collecting little stones and rocks of thoughts and emotions and experiences and sensations.
This is What You Need for Connection
Ohhhhhhh....
Connection has been in short supply these last few weeks.
It'll show up in a moment or two and then flitter away like a butterfly.
Politicized Relationships and Sacred Vows
"I can see myself marrying you," Shaun said to me during the first week we started dating.
"I can see myself marrying you, too," I said.
You Are Perfectly Human and Sacred
I am new to sacred.
If you grew up or are in a religion or spirituality or nature, sacred may be common for you to practice or appreciate.
3 Reasons to Share Your Relationship
Thousands of years ago (it seems) I was telling one of my closest friends how my spouse and I decided to get married and that now we were engaged.
That's right.
We decided.
3 Ways to Connect with Your Unique Pleasure
It's funny.
Pleasure used to be a word I couldn't make sense of.
It's like the letters...
P - L - E - A - S - U - R - E
when you put them together...they didn't make sense to me.
How Living from the Heart Led to Being Multiorgasmic
I'm hoping I can be honest with you.
Last year I desired to start living more from the heart.
I saw a coach about it.
I did practices around it.
And mostly I left it alone...not knowing how to do it exactly.
3 Things Better Self-Pleasure Can Do For You
I want to invite you into your first memories of masturbating.
Was it pleasurable?
Was it celebrated?
Was it liberating?
This Is Why You Have to Co-Create The Boundaries of Your Relationship
I feel some shame around admitting it...
And...
My partner Shaun and I went through many years where we locked ourselves into domestic roles and stereotypes that weren't really and truly us.
We took on "husband" and "wife."
3 Steps to Slowing Down and Reveling in Your Personal Sexual Energy
Do you believe in sexual energy?
Have you experienced it for yourself?
Felt it expand...felt it move...felt it transform inside of you?
Restoring the 5 Stages of Sexuality
I'm not sure about you, but I'm a pretty serious person.
I'm focused. I'm precise. I'm intense.
That doesn't sound like much fun.
Especially in the bedroom.
Annnnnnnd if I explore these through the five stages of sexuality, these "serious" qualities sound more like:
6 Steps for Taking Responsibility for Triggers and Healing (your own and/or your partner's)
One of my deepest wounds and greatest triggers of unworthiness happened this week.
My birthday.
It's become a well-worn path bordered by landmines and avoidance.
Shaun's taken to be my guide on occasion, and this year was especially sweet.
4 Steps to Connect Desire with Arousal (or the vice versa)
Sometimes I catch myself looking at Shaun and wanting to rub myself all over him.
I'm not always clear in that moment which part of me is responding....
Because it could be my heart.
Swelling with the love, compassion, joy, emotion I feel with him and toward him.
This Is Why I Worry About Being Normal (and its effects on my relationship....)
Am I...normal?
This is a question I've asked myself many times around many different things.
If I dig deeper and ask myself what's underneath this question, it's about being belonging.
It's about being worthy.
3 Steps for Finding Peace in Your Relationship During Triggering Times
I've been waking up angry.
Throughout my days I'll find moments of connection and even moments of peace.
And then BOOM!
Another wave of rage will wash over me.