secure attachment

5 Steps for Coming into Presence and Connection with Your Partner and Loved Ones

5 Steps for Coming into Presence and Connection with Your Partner and Loved Ones

"Wait. Wait. Can you say that again?"

I'm in the kitchen, and my youngest who is eight is next to me saying something about turtles and the beach.

A piece of me is replaying a past conversation with someone else as I pour some tea.

I recognize another piece wants to be in the present and connected to what he's sharing with me.

Here is what I want for us. Are you with me?

Here is what I want for us:

I want a relationship where we experience a connection, a close bond, an attachment.

I want a relationship where I can read your cues around what you need and want, and you can read mine...where we're willing to learn one another's cues and respond to them.

None of Us Wants to Be Abandoned...and how I want us to love more and deeper

A client wrote to me recently and asked,

"Can you help me to want her less...care about her less...and love her less than I do so that I am not putting pressure on her to communicate with me or have to be intimate with me emotionally?

Is that realistic?"

I've got deep questions around relationships right now.

Distancing in the form of individuation and differentiating yourself from your partner is normal and healthy.

It supports autonomy and growth and prevents enmeshment and...

I dare say...

a toxic intimacy that snuffs out the possibility of passion.