trauma

Three Steps I Wish None Of Us Had To Take

Well.

I’m going to say the most vulnerable thing.

(Content warning/trigger warning: sexual assault)
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7 Steps for Reclaiming Our Pleasure, Connection, and Interdependence

I need to remind us that sex is important.

Intimacy is important.

Closeness...is important.

We are created for pleasure.

We are designed for interdependence.

None of Us Wants to Be Abandoned...and how I want us to love more and deeper

A client wrote to me recently and asked,

"Can you help me to want her less...care about her less...and love her less than I do so that I am not putting pressure on her to communicate with me or have to be intimate with me emotionally?

Is that realistic?"

Can we just be where we're at...right here, right now?

For a deeper connection within...so you might connect in love with your partner over the weekend...

Do something with me this morning?

Take a moment to perhaps close your eyes or just soften them.

Focus a few moments on your breath.

When I felt the trauma of Trump begin to soften in my body, I couldn't ignore what came next

This is How You Love Yourself (and your partner and the collective) in All The Ways

I've been thinking about you.

It's been weeks since I've written, and that doesn't mean I haven't had you on my mind.

I've written drafts around:

Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....

I wasn't angry.

I wasn't triggered.

And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.

I was frustrated.

I was beyond my capacity.

This is How To Give Yourself What You Most Need Right Now

I feel like I'm in the tornado outer funnel right now...

Just hanging on...

And hoping I don't get spit out in a manure patch.

This was shared with me recently, and I thought, That's about right.

This is Why Video Chatting with Your Loved Ones is So Hard

Before all of this happened, my partner and I already had a lot of experience with distance.

Being in an international, long distance relationship is hard.

  • Closed borders.

  • She's a frontlines healthcare worker.

  • I'm a trauma-informed sex and intimacy coach.

This is how COVID-19 stress is affecting my relationship. How are you doing in yours?

I'm not proud of it.

In fact I have some shame....

A few days ago I unceremoniously turned my phone on airplane mode for five or so hours.

A part of me knew it would hurt my partner.

3 Steps for Finding Peace in Your Relationship During Triggering Times

I've been waking up angry.

Throughout my days I'll find moments of connection and even moments of peace.

And then BOOM!

Another wave of rage will wash over me.