acceptance

9 Qualities for Determining the State of Your Union

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you as a couple?"

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a movie that's spoken to me for a long time.

It was trying to tell me something about long term committed relationships.

I sat with it for years before I figured it out.

Even though it's from a cis white heteronormative framing, it's still about two people experiencing what I call The Relationship Journey.

This is How To Invite Heartbrokenness To Teach You

I have been deeply grieving the last several weeks and letting my body show me how to forgive myself and others, how to heal, and how to love.

There's no pushing or forcing, no "should" or "shouldn't."

There's a deep surrender to "This is how I feel right now...This is how it is in this moment."

Gently Support One Another's Bodies and Sexuality with Loving Touch

Sit down with me?

I'm picturing us nestled around a small, square table.

The flat wood is darker, and the texture offers my chest calm and grounding sensations with a reminder of the outdoors.

Maybe you're across from me so we can look at one another.

The rawness of my core wound comes around every year.

The most vulnerable thing I could ever do is ask if you'd spend my birthday with me.

Even as I write the words, tears flood my eyes and spill over.

A knot clenches in my gut, and my throat becomes so tight it's almost impossible for me to breathe.

I try to swallow it down, but the icy terror in my heart threatens to heave up and out of my body.

Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....

I wasn't angry.

I wasn't triggered.

And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.

I was frustrated.

I was beyond my capacity.