relationship goals

9 Qualities for Determining the State of Your Union

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you as a couple?"

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a movie that's spoken to me for a long time.

It was trying to tell me something about long term committed relationships.

I sat with it for years before I figured it out.

Even though it's from a cis white heteronormative framing, it's still about two people experiencing what I call The Relationship Journey.

Here is what I want for us. Are you with me?

Here is what I want for us:

I want a relationship where we experience a connection, a close bond, an attachment.

I want a relationship where I can read your cues around what you need and want, and you can read mine...where we're willing to learn one another's cues and respond to them.

None of Us Wants to Be Abandoned...and how I want us to love more and deeper

A client wrote to me recently and asked,

"Can you help me to want her less...care about her less...and love her less than I do so that I am not putting pressure on her to communicate with me or have to be intimate with me emotionally?

Is that realistic?"

What is there really even to say to one another?

I'm feeling the urge to share so many things with you.

And...

I am concurrently holding a piece that's says, "What's the point? Where would I start?"

I'm curious if you're experiencing something similar when you turn to look at your partner at the end of the day...at the end of this unique week.