"On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you as a couple?"
Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a movie that's spoken to me for a long time.
It was trying to tell me something about long term committed relationships.
I sat with it for years before I figured it out.
Even though it's from a cis white heteronormative framing, it's still about two people experiencing what I call The Relationship Journey.
To Be Chosen, You Have To Communicate Your Needs First
I see you relaxing back, receiving so much love and care and support that you need and want.
I see you doing it with ease and it coming to you so lusciously.
Here's the thing, though.
Most sitcoms don't show the characters knowing what they want, communicating what they want, or getting what they want.
Connection Doesn't Happen at Warp Speed; It Requires Space
Are You Willing To Grow With Your Partner?
Heal Within The Stone Hearth of Your Relationship for Fire and Light
7 Steps for Reclaiming Our Pleasure, Connection, and Interdependence
"I'm tired" is the new "I'm fine." You're not tired. You're not fine.
Here is what I want for us. Are you with me?
None of Us Wants to Be Abandoned...and how I want us to love more and deeper
Gently Support One Another's Bodies and Sexuality with Loving Touch
This Is How You Connect Within...So You Know What You Need and Want
Can we just be where we're at...right here, right now?
Are you feeling an auspicious opening toward the light today?
This Is How You Move Toward Embodied Self-Love
Something so powerful and deep happened in a coaching session a few weeks ago.
I've been thinking about it and wanting to share it, thinking it might click a few things into place for you, too.
Because most of us...we want to experience love with a partner, with our person.
The idea of self-love can feel so far-fetched and inaccessible because we first experience love in relationship and attachment to our primary caregivers.
How to Not Get Overwhelmed and Numb To It All
I'm not sure where your thoughts or emotions are at right now, friend.
And over the last few days I've been running through a spectrum of grief and hope and despair and anger marked with sparks of action and creativity.
I've also been ruminating around what feminist marketing consultant Kelly Diels (she/her) calls my spot on the wall.
The rawness of my core wound comes around every year.
The most vulnerable thing I could ever do is ask if you'd spend my birthday with me.
Even as I write the words, tears flood my eyes and spill over.
A knot clenches in my gut, and my throat becomes so tight it's almost impossible for me to breathe.
I try to swallow it down, but the icy terror in my heart threatens to heave up and out of my body.