pleasure

4 Steps for Clearing Time To Connect With Your Partner

When your partner and you were dating, you cleared out time to see one another, to do things, to have sex.

Sometimes you gave up sleep or money or a lunch hour or seeing friends to laugh and smile and experience one another.

This is What Fun and Play Have To Do With Sex and Pleasure

I spontaneously went on a road trip to my friend's friend's place The Bearded Lady Pub to have some fun food (think beignets, fried Oreos, Twinkies, churros, cookie dough bites, etc.)

I gave myself permission to follow this whim despite not having any intentions or expectations.

Maybe inspired by Esther Perel's recent 7-day exploration around the art of foreplay...Perel first invites participants to focus on play.

7 Steps for Reclaiming Our Pleasure, Connection, and Interdependence

I need to remind us that sex is important.

Intimacy is important.

Closeness...is important.

We are created for pleasure.

We are designed for interdependence.

"I'm tired" is the new "I'm fine." You're not tired. You're not fine.

I'm tired.

Are you?

I've noticed that for some people "tired" can be code for boredom or pessimism, frustration, irritation, impatience....

Sometimes it encompasses overwhelm, disappointment, doubt, or worry.

Which is More Closed Off: Your Heart or Your Sexuality?

For just a moment, close your eyes or let them gently unfocus.

Breathe into your heart.

Is it open?

Can you expand and soften into your heart with some ease?

Lay Back, Remember Who You Are, and Return Home to Yourself

I lay back down after turning over to see what time it is.

It's too early.

My eyes are too dry, too swollen, too tired to be awake right now.

And here I am.

Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....

I wasn't angry.

I wasn't triggered.

And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.

I was frustrated.

I was beyond my capacity.

This is How You Take Ownership of Your Sexuality

You may not be having sex or as much sex as you want with your partner during this pandemic.

Maybe—like me—your partner and you are sheltering-in-place in different locations.

You may be single or dating.

Restoring the 5 Stages of Sexuality

I'm not sure about you, but I'm a pretty serious person.

I'm focused. I'm precise. I'm intense.

That doesn't sound like much fun.

Especially in the bedroom.

Annnnnnnd if I explore these through the five stages of sexuality, these "serious" qualities sound more like:

5 Things #MeToo Needs You To Heal In Your Relationship

When I shared with my partner that the foundation of my sex life has been guilt and pressure and performing pleasure for the benefit of lovers I've been with...

It didn't go well.

My partner and I were frozen around what to do after this revelation.

What did it mean about our relationship?